On the Job

How the Media Make Us Stupid

Based on a column by Meg Papa, Pittsburgh Chapter Member

When you watch TV, do you notice the spelling and grammatical errors that pop up in shows and commercials? It's hard to overlook them when you're a technical communicator. Here are a few offenders I've noticed recently:

"Every agent has one case that haunts them." (promo for Without a Trace)

I know using "him or her" is awkward, but that doesn't change the fact that the subject is singular and the objective pronoun is plural. Other solutions might be "All agents have one case that haunts them" or "Every agent is haunted by one case." Also, since the agent who was the subject of the promo was clearly identified as female, "Every agent has one case that haunts her" would have been acceptable.
"To boldly go where no man has gone before." (Star Trek tag line)

The problem of the split infinitive was much more controversial when Star Trek first launched almost 40 years ago. I wasn't around for that, but I remember reading about the creator's conscious decision to split the infinitive because it sounded better. While some still believe splitting an infinitive is a no-no, it is a much more acceptable practice now.
"What if God was one of us?" (Joan of Arcadia title song)

This line is a hypothetical statement, for which the subjunctive (were) is the correct form of the verb be, even for first person singular.
"K(C)artoon Knuggets" (Web cartoon)

This little nugget isn't just wrong, but misses the point, I think. Not only are there two misspelled words, but the phrases fails the alliteration test, since the "K" in knuggets is not pronounced. I suppose the guilty party could have been aiming for visual alliteration, but the butchering of the language takes all the fun out of it.
"Inspire the Next." (Hitachi ad)

Since when are adjectives acted upon, or used alone as objects?
"Roomier. Versatilier." (Toyota ad)

Versatilier?!
"Adrenalitis sufferer." (Toyota ad)

Just what's in the water at Toyota these days?
"Customer can receive Cash Back from Toyota or can apply Cash Back to Down Payment." (Toyota ad small print)

OK, grammatically, there is not really anything wrong with this statement. My beef is with the excessive capitalization. It seems like the writer of this text capitalized every noun, not just proper nouns. "Customer" as the first word in the sentence, and "Toyota" as a proper noun should be capitalized. What about "Cash Back"? If it is a trademarked phrase, one could argue it should be capitalized if that is the way it was trademarked. Since almost all carmakers promise cash back, I have my doubts about the trademark issue.

There is no excuse for the phrase "Down Payment" to be capitalized. It is a common phrase used by everyone in the automobile and real estate industries.
"Whether you live in a big city, or a small town like me, you can make a difference." (NFL public service announcement)

I absolutely adore this one. I'm sure the speaker did not mean to equate himself to a small town, but that is exactly what he did. The fact that this gaffe was part of a very polished, professionally-done announcement for the NFL makes it that much more distressing (yet funny).
"We just have to keep our nose to the grinder." (Philadelphia Eagles coach Andy Reid)

Ouch! All I can say is, if you are going to use clichés, make sure you quote them correctly. If you are going to alter a cliché, make sure you do so purposefully.

Editor's Note: A version of this article originally appeared in Blue Pencil, the newsletter of STC's Pittsburgh Chapter.

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